Search for Atabei
By Arisael Rivera
I was born into stories
Stories that have been told to me
Constantly
Molding and guiding
Sign posts and core memories
Failures and victories
Savior and Enemy
Shaping the malleable me
Yet from within, it seems
Another story beckons me
The blood in me,
Lo Taino en mi,
My ancestry
Calls to say,
"Busca,
Search
for Atabei"
Mother,
Goddess of the deep, profound dream that was el universo,
cielo, sky,
body, cuerpo
It was all there was and ever would be
So goes the story
Mother God plants two sons
Two sons to fight the empty
Two sons who begin to till and grow and scheme on the universe known as Dream
And one of the two, Yucaju,
Makes
Wonders
Atabei watches Him create the Earth and separate
Water from Land and add Light to the Day and let it rest
And animales roam the way and
His brother Guacar watches His Mother's praise
Watches the way
She gleams and laughs and tears arise in pride for Her Son
Her Tree,
“But not for Me.”
Then Yucaju seeds the ultimate being
Locuo, between God and human, in peace
What a Dream
They stand on the Motherland
But then Guacar in seemingly impotent rage
Borne from the same Mother
Filled with the same Power
Blood from the same Blood
Screams and proclaims
And ravages against the good His Brother would create
So much anger turned to Hate
He even changes his name
Winds begin to blow another way
JURACAN comes!
"NO!" yells Atabei
Yet He torches the land
And rains every way
And drowns the animals’ life
Like He opens a vein
And He powers the wind
And engages the waves
Destroying Locuo's home
Where humans would roam
Yucaju's in pain and He pleads for reprieve
But Juracan can't abide Brother being “better than Me”
So He uses His power
And He hurts His own blood
A Flood!
He couldn’t see
Atabei weeps
“Why did you forget to dream?
To create
To be,”
She pleads.
Juracan retreats
To return and repeat
A cycle to find meaning
Blinded by the feeling
Searching for peace in the bleeding
Destroying instead of believing
Missing ever missing the power of dreaming
And I try to see clearly
Look back at my life
Find the root of believing
Do I look for peace in the bleeding?
Did I forget the power of dreaming?
Let me replay the scenes
Like I'm reversing a feeling
Unpack the story
Uncover the theme and
I find Mother there,
beaming
Atabei lives in me
She holds me in her arms
And tells me the meaning
"JURACAN will come and ravage all you know,
You must grow
Grow,
Not above
But below"
Roots must run deep
Rooted in what I can't know
In what I can't see
Only in what I believe
What’s inherent in me
Esperanza is the seed.
Only then will I remember,
Will I Create, will I Be
Only then will I never forget
To Dream.
